{"product_id":"rocks-fall-everyone-dies-dungeon-master-tee","title":"Rocks Fall, Everyone Dies - Dungeon Master Tee","description":"\u003ch6\u003eArchive Reel: RR-RFED-06\u003cbr\u003eCartoon Scene: Session Collapse\u003cbr\u003eFiled under: Player Consequences \/ Improvised Geology \/ Table Authority\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe party had been warned.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSeveral times, in fact.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe dungeon master requested focus. The dungeon master asked the players to stop pestering the shopkeepers for itemized receipts. The dungeon master gave the rogue an opportunity to reconsider his quest to bed every npc wench with lurid and highly detailed flirtation fantasies.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThen someone said, \"Come back to my turn, I gotta finish this tiktok\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe pencil snapped.\u003cbr\u003eThe character sheets hit the table.\u003cbr\u003eThe dice scattered.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd behind the screen, crazed, spiraling eyes looked to the emergency exit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe recovered frame captures the moment the session stopped being a collaborative storytelling experience and became a natural disaster event. Beneath the table, the foundations began to tremble. Above it, a strained voice invoked the most powerful tool in the dungeon master’s repertoire:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eROCKS FALL. EVERYONE DIES.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is for the one spent long nights building the world, knows every stat block by heart, and has reached the end of their patience with, \"I know it's a dick move but it's what my character would do.\" For DMs, DM sympathists, and anyone who has ever threatened a total party kill with a smile that was not in jest.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePrinted on dungeon black cotton with pale dust cloud ink and the authority to revoke an annoying player's good time. Unisex fit. Player agency not guaranteed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eClaim the relic. Roll the dice. Mind the ceiling.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"tsaurus.com","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Classic","offer_id":53362954010921,"sku":"5664408_9527","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Classic","offer_id":53362954043689,"sku":"5664408_4016","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Heavyweight","offer_id":53362954076457,"sku":"1938500","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Classic","offer_id":53362954109225,"sku":"5664408_4017","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Heavyweight","offer_id":53362954141993,"sku":"1690577","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Classic","offer_id":53362954174761,"sku":"5664408_4018","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Heavyweight","offer_id":53362954207529,"sku":"9788566","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Classic","offer_id":53362954240297,"sku":"5664408_4019","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Heavyweight","offer_id":53362954273065,"sku":"1460594","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Classic","offer_id":53362954305833,"sku":"5664408_4020","price":37.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Heavyweight","offer_id":53362954338601,"sku":"6718980","price":37.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Classic","offer_id":53362954371369,"sku":"5664408_5295","price":39.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Heavyweight","offer_id":53362954404137,"sku":"8656959","price":39.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Classic","offer_id":53362954436905,"sku":"5664408_5310","price":41.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Heavyweight","offer_id":53362954469673,"sku":"9347707","price":41.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL \/ Classic","offer_id":53362954502441,"sku":"5664408_12871","price":44.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/4123\/3193\/files\/Rocks_Fall_Everyone_Dies_D_D_Dungeon_Master_Funny_T-shirt.jpg?v=1784915827","url":"https:\/\/www.tsaurus.com\/products\/rocks-fall-everyone-dies-dungeon-master-tee","provider":"tsaurus.com","version":"1.0","type":"link"}