Incredibly Tragic Backstory Unisex T-shirt

Your parents? Dead.

Your hometown? Gone.

Your mentor? Betrayed you.

Your will to live? Just enough to fuel vengeance.

Sound familiar? Of course—because in D&D, if your backstory isn’t Shakespeare-level tragic, did you even roll a character?

This shirt says what your character sheet is already screaming.

Every D&D table has one:

The brooding barbarian whose family was killed by goblins
The warlock whose patron also destroyed their village
The paladin who swore an oath to a god that ghosted them

And the DM? Just nodding along, mentally trashing 90% of your tragic prologue—because, let’s be real, the party is just gonna murderhobo and fight over pocket loot.

Wear your character sheet on your chest.
Let the world know you’ve suffered (or at least your character has).
Preemptively mock the inevitable DM sigh when you hand over a three-page backstory.

Your backstory was written in blood.

Your fate? Sealed in dice rolls.

Your future? Probably ignored for a side quest about chickens.

But at least you can wear this shirt as a badge of honor.

The real tragedy? You don’t own it yet. Grab yours before your edge dulls.

More from February 2025 - Grungeons & Dragons vol. 2

The grunge era never died—it just got lost in the haze of a smoke-filled tavern, waiting for the right riff to bring it back. Now it’s kicking down the dungeon door with loose-fitting combat boots, louder, rawer, and rolling with advantage.

Grungeons & Dragons Vol. 2 cranks the distortion to max, fusing epic fantasy with ‘90s grunge rebellion in a way that hits harder than a half-orc's reckless attack (pre-nerf.)

Not every hero wears plate mail—some wear flannel and steel-toed boots.
Not every bard sings ballads—some scrawl dungeon maps in the margins of old setlists.
Not every adventurer seeks glory—some just want one more gig, one last roll, one final chord before the lights go out.

This collection is for the misfits who battle their demons (literal or otherwise), roll dice like they’re betting their last cigarette, and know every campaign is just an experience waiting to be made into an emotion-filled rock album.

Your next adventure starts now. Roll for rebellion.