Product Lore
You don’t need a backstory when you’ve got a bastard sword.
Every party has one. The loot ninja chaotic asshole. The one who ends 90% of social encounters with their greataxe. Maybe it’s you. Maybe it’s the whole party...
You were supposed to escort a merchant caravan. Somehow the tavern’s on fire, the barkeep is dead, and the orphanage has been “liberated” of its tithes. Again.
Three hours of town roleplay? This is supposed to be a game isn't it? Kill stuff. You're not ruining immersion, you’re the reason it’s fun!
Inspired by the iconic Marlboro logo and rebranded for the chaotic-neutral soul who never learned the difference between “questgiver” and “lootbox,” this shirt is a loving roast of every player who said, “Sure, I’ll be a bard,” and then got bored during the exposition.
Wear it to your next session and become instantly recognizable as the party’s biggest liability—and greatest weapon. Let the world know you’re not here to talk. You’re here to roll initiative.
Printed on ultra-comfy unisex cotton that’s built to survive tavern brawls, angry DMs, and real-world Mondays. Available in all mortal sizes.
Buy now. Loot later. Don't apologize.
From June 2025 - D&Double-Takes
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Let customers speak for us
Website is well laid out, all the details on each product are very clear. Super fast shipping even as we near the holidays. Truly one of the best shopping experiences I’ve had in a while, especially from a small business I’ve never purchased from before. 10/10
Very funny shirt, arrived promptly and as a pleasant surprise- itwas softer than expected!
If I needed a slogan for an Oathbreaker (My current character), this defines him to a T! Large, nice vinyl like gloss, this baby looks cool. Trapper-Keeper, door, locker, your Jug of water (or caffeine go-go juice), this baby is almost too good to stick to things.
Thank you TSAURUS, you have given me a sticker that defines my PC!
Second t i bought and I freaking awesome!
Comfy shirts, high quality print, and super fast shipping! I definitely recommend!
Love it! It’s hilarious and the design is awesom
One of the comfiest shirts I’ve ever ordered, plus the colors on the design are so vibrant! Definitely would order again!
True to size, clear, detailed design. Well made and comfortable, too. Quick shipping.
Incredible. Feels great. Excellent print. Love it.
Badass shirt! Great quality!
It’s nice. I got a compliment on it at the gym. Not sure of the quality yet cuz I haven’t washed it.
I had an issue with my choice of shirts and emailed requesting a change. WELL. They were prompt in emailing me back and were able to change my order with no problems! The shirt was excellent! The print was soft and the colors were brilliant and well applied.
Great art, great shirt, papa tsaurus
I love this shirt! Very clever idea and a stylish choice for necromancer mains
Cute. Exactly what I expected.
What customers think about the store
The store offers high-quality graphic tees featuring creative designs that appeal to niche interests like Dungeons & Dragons, art, and pop culture. Customers praise the vibrant prints, soft fabrics, and overall great value. Sizing can occasionally be inconsist...