Murderhobo Unisex T-shirt

You don’t need a backstory when you’ve got a bastard sword.

Every party has one. The loot ninja chaotic asshole. The one who ends 90% of social encounters with their greataxe. Maybe it’s you. Maybe it’s the whole party...

You were supposed to escort a merchant caravan. Somehow the tavern’s on fire, the barkeep is dead, and the orphanage has been “liberated” of its tithes. Again.

Three hours of town roleplay? This is supposed to be a game isn't it? Kill stuff. You're not ruining immersion, you’re the reason it’s fun!

Inspired by the iconic Marlboro logo and rebranded for the chaotic-neutral soul who never learned the difference between “questgiver” and “lootbox,” this shirt is a loving roast of every player who said, “Sure, I’ll be a bard,” and then got bored during the exposition.

Wear it to your next session and become instantly recognizable as the party’s biggest liability—and greatest weapon. Let the world know you’re not here to talk. You’re here to roll initiative.

Printed on ultra-comfy unisex cotton that’s built to survive tavern brawls, angry DMs, and real-world Mondays. Available in all mortal sizes.

Buy now. Loot later. Don't apologize.

More from June 2025 - D&Double-Takes

Look twice. Then roll for insight.

You’re surrounded by the modern world—brands, logos, slogans drilled into your brain since you could hold a controller or crush a Capri Sun. And now? None of it feels like you. It’s all mass-market noise. No magic. No dice. No dragons. No dungeons.

But what if that nostalgia could crit?
What if your favorite brands—the ones burned into your cudltural DNA—got multiclassed into something just for your table? The sacred icons of late-night snacks, childhood commercials, and mall-rat mayhem—each one rolled through a chaotic D20 filter and resurrected as something way more legendary.

Enter D&Double-Takes, a blend of parody and party banter. This month’s designs take the corporate colossi and give them stat blocks. They’re not just visual puns—they’re little acts of rebellion- alchemy for nerds. Each shirt dares you to say, “Wait… is that what I think it is?” And then? Yeah. It's ...not.

Choose your illusion. Let the mundanes squint. The ones with proficiency in perception will get you.