Deck the Mauls - Barbarian Christmas Tee

Session Entry: MM-DMBH-03
Subject Type: Pun-class Barbarian Reframing
Filed under: Dad-joke / Arsenal / Holly

The war never really stops for the northern tribes.
Snow falls. Fires fade. And still, the drums never stop.
But even the fiercest barbarian needs a little cheer between raids.

When the sleigh bells clash with the war drums,
when the halls echo with laughter and the ringing of steel,
you’ll want something that can take a hit - and give one back.
After all, it’s hard to sing carols with a missing jaw.

This relic captures the legendary Yule ritual of the North:
A barbarian chieftain, fresh from battle,
pausing only to hang ornaments from his great mauls before the feast.

"I rage for two reasons: love and tinsel."
- Fjordak the Festive
"That barbarian girl failed her wisdom save."
-Jacques the Soft-lipped, bard, last seen under mistletoe

Printed in blood‑red, pine‑green, and mead‑gold on relic‑grade cotton.
Equal parts brutal and jolly. Perfect for game night, the gym, or the next raid on Target’s holiday clearance.

Raise a toast.
Deck your maul.
Smash some holly on their jaw.